Frances Sacker z"l Rabbi Dr Andrew Goldstein Tribute at shiva - 5 July 2006

Birth is a beginning and death a destination by Rabbi Alvin Fine has become such a fixture at our funerals and shivas it almost rivals the 23rd Psalm.  Yet what a journey Frances Sacker made in life – what a journey in her Jewish life.  Religiously from the Federation shul of her grandfather the warden, going with him to shul, accompanying him to the rabbi’s kiddush, challah dipped in whisky . . . at the age of 5 developing Frances’ palate.  From there to marriage at the Bayswater Synagogue by Rev Raymond Apple, a friend, and to other central London synagogues all associated with the youth work she and Tony were getting involved in.  A move to Pinner United, dissatisfied, and so the fateful move to NPLS – fateful, for it went on to take up much of the Sackers’ time ever after.  Side journeys to LJS and to West Central . . . and all along a deepening spirituality, and  a devotion to Liberal Judaism, though I suspect her grandfather would have felt satisfied that his little girl began in the Federation and ended up with at least 10 Progressive rabbis at her funeral, and so many, many people whose Jewish lives she had touched.

Other journeys – from East End to Pinner, Pinner to the West End – and from there to Northwood.  Each place important, full of memories for the family – for Tony and the boys.  Each one marking a stage along the way from birth to childhood to adulthood.  And
home to Northwood, one last journey – to be able to sit in the garden watching the birds, surrounded by beautiful trees. to die in her own bed surrounded by her glass and pictures and objets d’art – but more important, surrounded by the smiling, loving faces and presence of those closest to her.

Another journey – from school to secretarial college with drama school thrown in.  A short while as secretary interrupted, or saved by marriage and motherhood.  But time to move on – to teachers’ training college to secondary school teacher of English – and Drama – great successes the family can remember turning errant pupils into actors . . . but again the restlessness and unwillingness to be bound by other people’s red tape and bureaucracy.  And so on to customer care consultant – how I recall her in business suit, fresh off the plane from Scotland.  She had so much talent.

And along the way many a side journey down the volunteering path: youth clubs, AJY, JYVS.  So often with Tony - so often complementing his work:  , but also doing her own work and many other projects:  LBC as Publicity Officer and Student Council, ULPS again in Publicity and an Officer.  And then this synagogue, but before exploring that  journey over to Rabbi Mark Solomons, who honours us with his presence and singing, to tell of the central London stage in the journey.

(West Central, Bat Mitzvah.)

And NPLS . . . Tony reminded me that the Sackers joined in the last days of the Hallowell Road synagogue and he was in charge of the move to this place, another memorable journey.  But Sharon reminded me of one of her and my first recollections of Frances – dressed as a clown with Ingrid similarly clothed, at our 2nd annual fete at Northwood shul.  the first had been great, but a financial disaster.  Frances took over and as usual her thorough planning, great imagination and a clown suit all made for a great success.  The Social or Events Committee, or whatever it was called, even choir I think in early days (Frances, not  Tony).  And Spisska nova Ves, and many other explorations; the thorough Strategic Review at NPLS Frances made with Judith Kramer – just one example of her thoroughness, professionalism and enthusiasm with which she approached so many projects.  And Drama – who will ever forget Accrington Pals – sorry to all the other directors down the years – that’s still the production that sticks in my mind.  And when not plays – dramatic readings, as Rabbi Solomons said often put together from her vast understanding of literature:  her readings in synagogue always a treat, though maybe one shouldn’t say that, but she had a gift of a memorable voice and used it in God’s service – and ours.  How fitting that her last public reading should be on the grandest of stages – in Lincoln Cathedral, just over 2 months ago.  A sick, sick woman shlapping for over 6 hours on a coach, climbing Steep Hill, and as so often happened even then the childlike quality in her shone through – the simple pleasure of achieving another goal, and doing so, so well.  And finally the Gallery, that gave a purpose to Frances’ life, especially as the days got shorter, the energy, the inspiration, the sheer hard work.  Turning our Osorio Hall into a well-known Gallery, perhaps the only one with ever changing exhibitions, never an empty wall.  Frances giving Barbara Fisher orders even from her final sick bed.  Ironic that her greatest triumph, the last exhibition, was filled with sadness; so pleased that the present one (by Hannah Frank) breathes beauty and hope and interest into our walls – for Frances Sacker always beauty and interest and life into what she did.

“Birth is a beginning – a sacred pilgrimage” – this we can say, for Frances had developed (as Mark has demonstrated) a deep spirituality, religious faith, sorely tested, but to see her face in the congregation, even in the latter days, beaming, nodding (or sometimes the other) but always taking part – to have Frances in the congregation was to add something special.

I sometimes say at funerals – do not recall the sad, painful last days of your loved one’s life.  Think, remember instead the life of the days that went before.  Of Frances I can say, do remember the last days as well as all of the life that went before, because we know that as the vast and varied crowd at the funeral showed, Frances did so much and touched so many lives and yet by her brave fight against cancer and the way she lived her last year and days will inspire us always.  Tony and Jonathan, Michael and Eve, David and Kathy . . . Yael and Adi . . . thank you for letting Frances be part of our lives and adding so much to them.  May you give thanks that she was part of your lives for – not long enough – but for so long that she filled all the years with so much to remember, and give you strength and comfort that your family can journey on in love and harmony, ever feeling the presence of Frances guiding you and making you smile and urging you onwards.