Veronica Sass z"l Rabbi Dr Andrew Goldstein Funeral Tribute - 11 August 2008

Those of you, who know Brian, will know that he is immensely conscientious.  As Chairman of the shul he has done everything from seeking complicated legal advice, to mending the lights, to clearing the drains.  I asked him to jot down a few notes about Veronica, and so at 5.30 am the day after her sad death he was up and on the computer and neatly typed out a long list of facts and of her achievements…but then, like Brian, Veronica fitted in a myriad of tasks in a day, so many things to do with her charity work, her shul work, her care for her children and grandchildren, her husband…& so it went on.  Giving so much of herself to so many people, so constantly, even when drastically unwell.  I recall that her last major action was to cater a dinner for over 100 people at our most successful celebrations for Israel, and this was done the day & night before she went to hospital for a major operation.

Veronica and Brian have known each other for 53 years and been married for 47 years.  She must have set her heart on winning Brian, because she started to study to become Jewish even before he knew of her studies.  Studied with a young student rabbi Harry Jacobi who will speak tonight.  Married at the Liberal Jewish Synagogue which was the family congregation before Brian & Veronica joined the fledgling Northwood & Pinner…and members ever since except for 3 years in exile in Cardiff.  And not just members, but tireless workers for the synagogue over all the years.  Stalwarts of the choir, caterers par excellence, and not just a cake for Kiddush, but whole functions, time after time after time.  And not just the catering, but the table laying, decoration, washing up….everything.  Functions committee, social committee, Israel committee, women society, Czech committee, name it what you will, Veronica was always there, cooking, organising, shlepping, everything.  And never the easy way out, bought in food, always seeking to make it special with home made delicacies. Born a good Catholic girl, she more than mastered the art of Jewish cooking, and the special art of always cooking more than enough.

And all along, whatever she and Brian have done for the synagogue, so rarely missing a Shabbat without coming to shul.  Whether it was to sing in the choir or just to pray with the congregation.  For Veronica was a deeply religious person, a very knowledgeable Jewess indeed.  Loyal to Liberal Judaism and Israel and close to both her own family, her parents and 4 sisters, yet also to Brian’s side, loved by everybody.  Alongside the community catering, there were the frequent family gatherings to organise and cook for.  And I believe the last time you sisters got together was at a meal cooked by Veronica you must be so proud of and grateful to her.   For despite becoming a Jew, she never left her own family, her mother & fathers name on our Tree of Memorial in our synagogue.   And then, of course the Jewish family gatherings, the Seders, Breaking the Fast, sharing the hosting with Avril and Joel, how fitting to have second night Shiva in your house tomorrow.

It was not just the synagogue choir, but the local Ruislip operatic and dramatic society, where she met Brian and his sisters, Ruth and Valerie, and in time their families. Veronica just loved singing in musicals, and remembered all the words long after they were performed., and Oaklands Drama group, and “Stones of Kolin”, how she missed being in its last performance.

And then her charity work, latterly at the Cancer Research shop, and organising the shops annual fashion show at our synagogue, raising thousands of pounds over the years.  Pocklington House, the home for partially sighted and blind people in Northwood; Veronica, mistress of the trolley, always knowing exactly what each resident required.. A supporter of the National Hospitals research into brain disease, a consequence of their saving her life after a brain tumour, just as Veronica survived cancer bouts and other serious illnesses over the years.  A woman with 9 nine lives, and every one of them used incredibly well….for all along when well and even when far from well she was always giving of herself to others.

And all along, devoting herself to her family.  Her 3 children, David, Rachel & Rebecca; her 7 grandchildren, Lauren, Morgan; Eli and Imogen; Isabel, Louise and Dillon the apples of her eye.  Veronica, the ever ready babysitter, the playmate and cook, depriving them only of easy food like fish fingers, always had to be home fried plaice.  The days and hours of pleasure shared at home, on adventurous holidays, at the caravan and river.  Always time for the family.  And David, Rachel, Rebecca, what I know made your mother most satisfied was your closeness, you and your children, and Sharon and I witnessed your support for each other and for your parents as you sat around your dying mothers bed just a couple of days ago.

AND Brian, how she loved you and was devoted to you. Ever supportive of your work, your hobbies, your everything.  Ever positive, protecting you and your children from the pain and horror of her illnesses.  Her immense courage trying to protect you and all who loved her from her own suffering, and did she go through the mill.  Yet never complaining.   Brian, when first given the diagnosis that said how ill she was, she set herself targets, and so wanted to reach your golden wedding anniversary.  Sadly this was not to be…but take heart, for you two fitted in more experiences, spent more time together in work and leisure, shared and surmounted so many problems,  enjoyed so many wonderful moments, far far more than most couples do in many more years.  Knew so much love.  You were blessed indeed, as were we all who knew the warmth, kindliness and generosity of Veronica Sass.  May she now lie in peace, her suffering over, her life and the memory of her goodness will bless us all, always.